Even these days after having the experience of wandering asia, living in Antarctica, and finally coming to the point of satisfaction with my life, I still find myself caught in triva. “Ya bloody ass, you almost doored me…” is a refrain that leaps to mind given my now daily biking to work. In the moment of life, during the daily drama that we all live it’s easy to forget the majesty and beauty of humanity in all it’s subtly. I’ve talked about the trivia of life, but I’m saying it again because for me it’s something that obscures my life every several months.
Mostly it’s temporary burn out. Burn out as I define it is what happens when you push so hard that tunnel vision takes over and you lose tolerance. Andrew and I talk about it often as it’s a regular feature of life here. Although Andrew and I only technically have a 37.5 hour work week, we both end up working far more then that and for once it’s NOT the corporate culture guiding us this way. We do it because we believe in what we do and the organisation we work in. No one at FCNL puts less then their best in at FCNL, and I dare say this is true for a multiplicity of idealistic firms here in the city. Perhaps I’m over emphasising things, but what I call a total slacker is fairly rare. Of course it’s sounds too good to be true, as we get paid less then open market, success is not guaranteed, time off and benefits are sometimes worth it. The thing is that people flock here. The idealism in this city is a fever unto itself in the right circles.
So we work hard. We keep in great health as we bike or run to work, play sports, swim, eat organic and at home for all but the exception. We are in the prime of our life with a community of people who think like we do and push as hard a we do. It’s a positive feedback environment, and yet… We still come home burn out, tired, and bitching about the door that nearly hit me.
As hard as we try to keep the beauty and perspective of the world in view, it’s the daily life that drowns us all so we must find ways of refocusing to push out the trivialities of life. For me I travel.
I leave for NZ here next sunday to meet my friends from the ice as they come back and volunteer at the couchsurfing.com collective in Nelson. 3 weeks of a different life. Something to allow me to get the shock of perspective and keep it fresh in mind, something to charge the batteries of life so burnout can be tolerated.
In this I’m lucky and I often forget how lucky I really am. A job that pays enough to live and travel, the time to do it, a healthy body, a healthy mind, with good friends and family in generally healthy communicating relationships, where the mind is not racked for survival constantly. On top of this I am doing something that I enjoy, I believe in the organization I work for, and we do make a difference. I’d guess that I live on the top 1% of the most privileged people in the world and although I forget it occasionally, it’s hard to lose total awareness of it. (screw the rich and powerful, as how happy are they? Money and power does not bring happiness) Thank you, all of you for the friendship, guidance, tolerance, and happiness you’ve brought me as it’s you as much as myself that has allow me to become this privileged.
You’ll see more posts coming up undoubtedly as my travel clock kicks in and life slows down…